Thursday, December 22, 2011

A New ADVENTURE called....

The beauty of slowly getting to know someone of the opposite sex is fascinating; it has become a lesson that I can NEVER forget…okay, so I guess  you are probably wondering where I’m going with this and why I continue to talking about dating.  I suppose I do so because it’s something, basically, new for me.  Have you ever had a feeling of disbelief that something so wonderful could actually happen for you?  Maybe so…well, throw heartache, pain, lies, and troubled relationships into that equation, and I promise you might understand.  To say that I’m a giddy, 27 year old business woman has to be an understatement; I am beyond that…WAIT. Am I really saying all of this?  This can’t be me; well, maybe it can be, but I am so not use to this…If this feelings ever leaves, I know that I will definitely want it BACK! RESUME.   I can just imagine my family and friends saying “You aren’t supposed to show this much emotion about a guy already…it might run him away.”  I find the statement true, which is why I should explain something:  I’m giddy about having him in my life right now, but I’m giddier about what he represents. 

Child of God; Strong; Thinker; Protector; Caring; Giving; Loves Life; Gentle; Music Lover; Hardworker; Family Man(who loves his mother)…these are great qualities that I love about Mr. Hardworker & these are some of the things that I placed on my “List”; this list was read to God, showing him what I wanted from a man.  Now, true enough, no one ever puts negative qualities on their list…HA!  However, I did tell God what I could not handle, such as: Married Men, Liars, Thieves; Lazy Men; Lacks Drive, Motivation, & Determination.  I can say that I am none of these things and I couldn’t tolerate someone that was; and as far as I can tell, Mr. Hardworker doesn’t show these qualities at all *pausing for a moment and asking God to show me if these signs are there…but I seriously doubt it* Now, let me take more time to discuss what Mr. Hardworker represents:
1.       Patience; He’s the kind of guy that you know takes his time with everything, allowing the simple things to make him happy.
2.       Kindheartedness; He gives freely to those in need, without any question.
3.       New Beginnings; He provides me with a “fresh start”
4.       Flaws; We all have them and I don’t think he is any different…and he openly tells me about them.
5.       Change; He has shown me that changing my dating process is wise.
6.       Coach, Mr. Chocolate, Bud, Tide, and more; Okay, I can’t help it…anytime he does something, I end up giving him another nickname (and I think he loves every one of them…HA!)

Our friendship is still new and fresh; it’s a bond that I pray will last until the end of time.  I mean, I think we both are getting the best deal possible:  We each gain a best friend & true connection, plus we can work toward a serious commitment if we choose to. WAIT. He reminds me of Darius and I’m Nina (Love Jones); if you have seen the movie, you know their connection was STRONG.  The scene when he was running after her on the train dock was CLASSIC!  Do guys do that anymore?  And have you noticed that guys fall for a female, sometimes, quicker than the females fall for a guy?  I don’t know what the case is for me and Mr. Hardworker…..*whispering* I think it might be equal, but don’t tell him I said that…. J RESUME.

Okay, so there you have it; if you have asked me for the last 3 months why I smiled so BIG, this should sum it up.  I am enjoying this new found friendship and appreciating all the lessons that God is presenting to me.  I have realized that this friendship represents so much for me; more than anything, it just shows me that
1.       Men and Women can be friends.
2.       Successful relationships have a solid foundation called FRIENDSHIP.
3.       Great things come to those who wait.
4.       Keeping a pair of earring, lipgloss/lipstick/Vaseline, and a stick of gum on hand at all times is KEY; Hey, you never know when you will be asked out.
5.       God is the ultimate MATCHMAKER & NAVIGATOR; only He knows the right MATE for you, so just be patient and enjoy life (and all the dates you get).

So, there you have it…the story of my beautiful friendship; and don’t worry, I did discuss it with Mr. Hardworker and he gave it the “green light”. See….
Me: I won’t mention you, unless you say it’s cool…lol
Him: Aww, how sweet!
Me: So, is that the green light to share with the world my new adventure?
Him: What is your new adventure, if I may ask?
Me: You, so to speak…Most chicks rush and I can finally testify that SLOW is key; well, maybe not that SLOW…LOL!  I never use actually names, just speak about my experiences for others to learn.
Him: Green light then ;-)

this creole guillory can’t wait to experience the next chapter in this adventure…who knows where it will take me…all smiles though!

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

LC Homecoming: Part 2

HOMECOMING was OFF the CHAIN….so much happened and I don’t even know where to begin!  Okay, so the drive to Jackson was super intense; I couldn’t wait to “touch down” and see my girls, aka “Boos”.  Boo got a new spot, so getting directions was crazy…however, once I stepped through the door, I knew that we all had reached a new place in life.  It felt like I hadn’t seen these girls in years (well, I hadn’t…almost 3 years for some).  After much needed updates on kids, guys, careers, and overall life changes, we did three of the things we did best:  DINNER, DRINKS, & DON’T EVEN ASK!!!!!  It felt like old times again, laughing, taking snapshots in the restaurant, and toasting to the weekend ahead.  I realized that I must be getting old because I didn’t want to go to anybody’s party, even though I did get a chance to peek at the LC fam that got to partake in the festivities.  A part of me wanted to see “New Millennium” or "91", just to show him that I was fly and didn’t need his love or affection (not like he was doing much for me anyways, but that's old news anyways)…After small talk, I began to notice that all of my Boos had new men in their lives; I was digging this new guy, something like a “love interest”…He wasn’t my man, more like a cool friend. WAIT. I hate when the girls have someone and I don’t; I was happy that I had something to report on this visit…it’s funny how you aren’t dating the guy, but to your girls you have to pass him off as the “someone special” in your life.  Boy, the things that we do to fit in, so to speak. RESUME.

The next morning, we once again fell into the same pattern; we NEVER go to the parade (well, this time my “8” had to make her debut as an “Alumni Cheerleader”)…the rest of us made our way out of Boo’s place and headed to Perkins (see, this is the reason that I couldn’t lose those “Freshman Fifteen” during my Sophomore, Junior, and Senior year…LMBO.  That’s another story for another day….).  Shopping made the list next, followed by crowed bathroom mirror checks for hair and makeup; FINALLY, we make it to LC Homecoming Tailgate.  The only time that I ever went into the football game was during my LC Pre-Alumni Council days.  So, what do I see when I first step on the street:
1.       Tents, tents, and more tents
2.       Barbeque grills EVERYWHERE!
3.       Greek Love
4.       Beautiful Black folk
5.       Lane College’s “Power of Potential”

Everything that I hoped LC Homecoming to be, it was PLUS more.  I took more pictures than I could imagine, I hugged more people than I expected, and I enjoyed every moment.  There were some surreal moments; moments that I know I will never be able to duplicate again.  It was FAB to have 11 out of 16 of my line sisters in one space; we haven’t done that in FOREVER and I was all smiles…we even had Neos on the yard this year. WAIT. Can I just say that there almost always ends up being a SUPERNEO on EVERY line….so, why did I think it was going to be different?  If you didn’t recognize the SUPERNEO on your line, guess what:  IT PROBABLY WAS YOU!!!!!!  RESUME.  Our annual Greek plot moment was great, until I had to let “INN”ocent Pearl come out…can you imagine that some chick tried to get it with me?  If you have never seen me mad, trust me, you don’t want it.  I could have allowed the chick to take me all the way there, but my Boos pulled me back into reality and just like that, the moment was gone.  The night ended with us chilling with “The Firm” and let’s just say, a video was created….okay, wait, it’s not what you think.  After a few drinks, me and a few of my Boos decided to take the fun into the hallway…I gave the carpet a lap dance, while a few overnight guest enjoyed the show from their balcony. WAIT. Can we say that it was the most OWT things I have experienced, I think…I take that back; I went to Lane College, so that list is actually longer than I thought.  Okay, let me pull out of this moment before I tell WAY TOO MUCH! RESUME.  Let’s just say that I love my Boos and the times that we continue to add to our journey.

Have you ever noticed that when an FAB weekend comes to an end, it seems like your luggage isn’t ready either.  Packing to go home is always the hardest for me; I never want to leave my Boos, even though I know that I have no other choice.  Each minute in Jackson is cherished and I have to sit behind the driver’s seat of reality once again.  Now, you know we can’t leave LC Homecoming weekend without doing what: DINNER, DRINKS, & DON’T EVEN ASK!!!!!  Of course, this is a MUST!  As I hugged my Boos, made promises to continue to KIT, started down I-40, I began to understand the true definition of “Esse Non Videri”…with my Boos, I don’t have to seem I’m someone that I am not… In life, you will come across those people who might make you feel like you have to be a “character”; however, with my Boos and LC Fam, I can be: Qutina, Tina, Boo, Q, “INN”ocent Pearl, QT, Watson, Quad, 4, _____(fill in the blank however you may…)…BASICALLY, I can just BE ME!

this creole guillory is excited about going back to Jackson for LC Basketball Homecoming….smiling already!

Monday, December 19, 2011

A Ride in the Dating WORLD

Dating was a word that I hadn’t used too often; most of the time, it was used only to describe other people’s status.  Here lately, I have decided to play into what this word could actually mean in my life.  My “bestie in my head”, Demetria Lucas aka “Belle”, informs me that dating should be something that you learn, take your time with, and enjoy.  WAIT. I mean really????  Dating????  ME????  This is even too much for me to handle!  How am I supposed to wrap my head around dating in the HUGE CITY of LR??? HA. RESUME.  Okay, so I have decided to take a stab at opening my eyes to something different…and guess what:  I think I have finally gotten the hang of things (well, almost).
Here are some of the “guys” that I have encountered thus far:
GUY Number 1
Him: So, it seems that you might be too busy for me…
Me: *blank stare*  You think?  Why so?
Him: Well, you work, write for a magazine, have a social life, and maybe other things going on…
Me: *shrugging my shoulders* Oh, okay…
WAIT.  Who actually says something like that???  Wouldn’t you think that a man would be happy to know that a woman is trying to establish herself and have her life in order…am I supposed to follow behind him with NO life?  Slightly confused on that one, but OKAY… RESUME.
GUY Number 2
Him: Are you sure you want to talk to an African?
Me: *blinks eyes* I’m not sure…what’s the difference?  Do you have more than one wife?
Him: No, I don’t think I believe in that…
Me: Huh?  You don’t think you believe in that…isn’t that an either “you do” or “you don’t” answer.
Him: Well, in my country, we follow that tradition, but I don’t try to…
Me: *shaking my head* Oh, okay….*pushes the MUTE button and SCREAMS “UGH”*
WAIT. Why is this even happening….where did he even come from?  You try not to follow African tradition in the US; am I dreaming or WHAT?  There has to be someone that can understand me…I need a 60 minute massage and facial ASAP…can we say headache! RESUME.
GUY Number 3
Him: I just want honesty, love, commitment, and partnership with my relationship, along with the other good stuff…
Me: Me too…along with God, substance, support, and stability
Him: Yeah, I see that we are on the same page…we share so many things in common, considering the fact that this convo has lasted for about 6 hours
Me: Feels like I’m talking to someone I have known for years…
WAIT. Okay, could he actually be what I’m thinking…I can’t tell.  I can’t start liking this guy right now OR can I?????  He’s like a breath of fresh air right now…UGH, this is so hard!  Yikes! RESUME.
If this was “The Love Connection”, which guy would the audience pick for me to go on a date with…honey, it wouldn’t even matter because I would surely go with GUY Number 3…He seems to support my decisions, work ethics, and approach towards life.  True, I do want to get married one day, but I don’t think I want to get married tomorrow.  I want the opportunity to enjoy what a man has to offer, on EVERY level.  It’s not easy out here in the dating world, but someone has to do it…and I might as well take a spin at it….

does a creole guillory girl have a chance in the dating scene...stay tuned!!!

Saturday, November 12, 2011

HomeCOMEing....Part 1

The time has finally come; the moment I have been waiting for….LC’s 2011 Homecoming!!!!  It’s the time where a family comes back together to reconnect, be it seasoned or fresh alumni; current LC family; Jacksonians (a name for those who have lived in the city their whole lives…hope I spelled that right); and those who have been invited to join the festivities.  Now, don’t get me wrong…I love going to TSU’s Homecoming each year with family; allowing my hair to hang fancy and free.  However, there is NOTHING like going back home…going back to a place that accepted who you were at 17, later producing a BETTER you at 21; a place that introduced you to many folk from Tennessee, Florida, Mississippi, Georgia, Alabama, Ohio, California, Milwaukee, Texas, and so on; a place that helped you realize your “Power of Potential”; a place that became a true place to call HOME; a place that connected over 125+ classmates under one common bond (okay, I know you get my drift).  Take the word, Homecoming, for instance…doesn’t the word just do something to you…meaning, you have earned the RIGHT to COME back HOME!  At Homecoming, you get the opportunity to gather with old sorors/frats, classmates, old flames/boos, former teachers/administration, and even meet the new student body; you even get the chance to see how much the campus has changed since you last visited. WAIT. I wonder if Snoop is still there; if Dr. David will pray during the football game; if the ducks will waddle around…(you had to have gone to LC to understand the jokes J). RESUME.

For me, being back at LC’s Homecoming means that I am once again with my boos/sorors/sisters; there is NEVER a dull moment when we all get together.  The laughs, fights, drinks, food, and overall love doesn’t get any better than this for me.  It also is a time for me to reflect on the moments I had at LC and try to mend any wrongdoings at that time; as you get older, you start to put things into perspective…the attitudes, fights, and “I can’t stand her/him” moments should be out the window.  Life will surely go on with or without you; you might as well learn to let go and live it to the fullest.  I also plan to do some surprise interviews while I’m there…thinking about expanding my writing and include new pieces in my blog….this Homecoming has brought me many creative ideas, ideas that I love and ones that will only increase my knowledge and skill.

So, here it goes….LC 2011 Homecoming, here we come!!!!  This is Part 1; with my boos, classmates, and Jacksonians in tow, God only knows what I have to look forward to….AND TO SAY THE LEAST, I AM READY!!!!!

Thursday, September 8, 2011

Wedding Bell BLUES

One of my favorite songs on the radio, currently, happens to be “4evermore” by Anthony David; I don’t know if it’s the lyrics, melody, or what, but anytime I hear this song I have to blast it (it got so bad, I went and bought the whole album just to have it on repeat in the car….talk about crazy).  Anyhow, a couple that I have known for quite some years decided to tie the knot, so I dedicated the entire day to them with this one song; when I say I played the song over 45 times,  I thought I would get tired of it.  If anyone hadn’t heard it, I would suggest that they do; here is a piece of a lyric:
Forever’s a mighty long time
But I really wanna spend it with you
I shine, when you shine
And there’s really no substitute
Now, the lyrics along speak volumes; I mean, forever is REALLY a mighty long time to spend with the same person.  Up until the point of this wedding, I was quite sure that I saw marriage in my future; now, I’m not so sure.  The rates of divorces are sky rocketing and I don’t know if that’s something that I could handle. WAIT. Am I really saying that I don’t want to be married?  Where is this coming from?  I have dreamed of walking down the aisle in a white or chocolate gown…and now, I want to give all that up???  What is wrong with me? RESUME.  As I sat in the church, watching a lovely couple who had been through their share of ups and downs, I began to envision the joy of getting married one day…yet the visions suddenly turned to how my life would be impacted by this moment of bliss.  Was I cut out to be a wife; yeah, I believe so.   I just want to make sure that I don’t get caught up in the “hype” of a wedding instead of focusing on the relationship of my marriage!  The divorce rates seem to grow rapidly each year and I surely don’t want to become a statistic; honestly, how many people think about a divorce on the event of their wedding (if any, please reconsider marriage….just my thoughts).  All in all, the wedding made me take some time to evaluate what I really want out of a relationship…so, I started a list.  No, this isn’t your average list of things I want from a man…it was a list of things I required from myself, in order to pursue a healthy relationship in the future
1.       Learn to LISTEN effectively….this is not to say that I don’t already, but it never hurts to put it on the list.
2.       Try NOT to be quick to take offense…I tend to have a habit of jumping to my own defense when it might not be needed.
3.       Never get LOST in my man…I can’t say that I have done this, but I have seen women in this situation and I surely don’t want it to be me.
4.       Continue to LOVE all things about myself….Once again, I can’t lose sight of who I am and what I desire to become.
5.       Accept the SHARING rule…I haven’t really lived with anyone since my LC days, so to share a limited space with another person might take some getting use to.
6.       Always keep GOD first in the relationship…This should have been first!  Without God leading the relationship, we as a couple, are doomed from the start.  If my mate isn’t on the same page as me with this topic, as a pilot says, “HOUSTON, WE HAVE A PROBLEM!!!!!”
Okay, so for now, that’s the list that I comprised so far; I’m pretty sure  the list will grow as I get older or come closer to a serious relationship.  Whenever the time comes for me to walk down someone’s aisle, I pray that I have worked through my list and feel comfortable making this commitment.  He is out there somewhere, and until we meet, I will continue to work on my list….while enjoying the ups and downs called LIFE!

a guillory wedding with a dash of creole favor….i can’t wait for the day!

Saturday, July 30, 2011

Ain't it FUNNY....

My how time has flown since my last post; so many things in my life have changed….I don’t even know where to begin.  So, let’s see….
1.       I changed jobs…still trying to get into my career, but due to the grant closing, they decided to make some cut back (hey, you win some and you lose some).  My current position is still underway because of my extreme training, but I am trying to make it…LOL!
2.       I went out on another blind date….It was a first for me only because he was really shy!  If you know me, you know that I am not the type to become shy during any situation.  Imagine me asking over 30 questions to his 6 questions…LOL!  Hey, someone had to carry that conversation or otherwise, we would have just sat at the Italian restaurant looking into space.  To say that this date was a learning experience, I would have to agree, along with me finding the courage on the same night to do Number 3….
3.       I FINALLY TOLD Mr. Game Plan how I REALLY FELT!  Now, to be honest, I don’t imagine anything coming from the recent disclosure of feelings.  However, I have come to realize that dreams can actually come true, if God has written it out that way.  For me, the decision to release the information wasn’t planned…I had actually taken my godmom’s advice and dropped it, but after having a girl’s night on the town for drinks and sushi, a random question came up….it was a question that I felt that only HE could answer (LOOK, he is one of the few professional athletes that I know personally, so he was my ONLY source).
4.       I actually zip lined across thousands of trees… (Well, not that many...LOL), but I was over 300 feet high.  To be honest, I don’t like heights, nor do I love to fly through the air….on my current 2011 bucket list, I added some sort of sky adventure.  I was so proud of myself, but the funny part is this:  I didn’t zip right one time, except for the first one…all the other lines that I zipped down, I went backward and half the time, I didn’t brake like I was instructed to.  My family got a great laugh out of me and I admit, I laughed my butt off too….it was an experience that I can’t forget.
5.       I enjoyed my annual FAM trip….there were moments that I wasn’t sure what the outcome would be, but I realized that if you approach situations with a positive attitude, you are sure to receive positive results…now, don’t mistake what I said:   There were still some moments that weren’t the best, but I gave it my best.  When dealing with family, it’s best to know that most of the time, you might not see eye 2 eye; I guess for the most part, that’s okay.  During my trip, I cried, laughed, almost peed on myself, smiled extra hard, and reflected on the great blessings that God has given my family.  My happy moments outweighed the emotional and crazy ones…

Well, there you have it…the updated list of where my life has been for the past month…I didn’t realize that I actually did that much.  My life is starting to make sense to me; I can’t always predict what outcomes I will have….who knows, I might end up finding my ideal job next month, be asked out on an official date by Mr. Game Plan, scratch another item off my “bucket” list, and enjoy another great FAM moment…”Ain’t it funny how life goes around…”

Thursday, July 7, 2011

Leaving the OLD Change....

Sam Cooke once said “A Change is Gonna Come”….and boy, did that change ever come my way.  June 1, 2008 started an adventure of a lifetime for me; I began my employment with CCOC.  I would like to think that the experience within this office has increased my patience for today.  Have you ever felt that life was throwing you a curve ball; one that most people couldn’t possibly understand?  Over the course of 3 years, I was granted the opportunity to explore new passions, and relive old ones.  I was given the chance to manage students, while conducting mental surveys on adults.  I presented live presentations to groups of 2 to more than 15; I created magical moments for my peers and surrounding communities….name it, and I might tell you that I was afforded the resources to do so.  So, I know that some of you might be wondering where the sadness lies; my former boss (a word that she hated to be called…lol) passed during the month of October.  It was odd due to the fact that it was National Breast Cancer Month and that was the cause of death.  TDBC taught me that the world gives you NOTHING, yet God gives you EVERYTHING!  During the 2 years that I knew TDBC, my world always grew with a bright spot; whenever I got the chance to bring up her well doing, I always seized the moment!  There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t miss her or wonder what my life would be like if she was still here; I know, it might seem selfish but you would have to understand our relationship/friendship/family to slightly understand.  She is always missed and loved dearly!!!!

Now, not only did I meet TDBC, but I was given great relationships with KB, SJ, SL, KC, EF, RM, TM, & SW.  Some of these individuals worked in CCOC with me or some I met through coworkers.  The bonds that I have with them will be tested with the distance; by distance, I mean a new position.  Yes, I have a new position….Sam Cooke told me that “a change was going to come”, but I wasn’t really ready for that change….I can’t really discuss the new change right now, but I will surely discuss it when the time is right (keep praying with me; we are wanting the new change to be changed…).  Okay, so what was the point of this session…easy:  CONTINUE TO FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS & DON’T ALLOW YOUR CHANGE TO STOP YOU!  I still have plans to pursue an advanced degree by next fall; I still have plans to continue my blogging sessions/moments; I still have plans to own and operate a event coordination company….My dreams and goals have not stopped due to the old or new change; maybe it has only opened my eyes to what is ahead for me!  Who knows, maybe the blog will become nationwide with over 12,000 followers by next year….DREAM BIG and the rest is sure to follow…..

This Creole Soul is blessed to be a Guillory….let’s see what the next journey is for me!

Thursday, June 2, 2011

My Absence....

I have missed writing and expressing my inner most thoughts; my daily life has taken me on an emotional rollercoaster.  I am so sorry that I haven't written anything in a few weeks, but I am hoping that will start to change.  I want to say "Thank You" for everyone that reads the blog and that encourage others to read as well.  I am currently working on a few pieces and I should have them out by next week.  I pray for my readers and ask God to motivate them to do things that inspire them the most! 

Take care and Happy Reading....

Peace & Blessing from
the creole soul of a guillory....

Mr. Game Plan: Part 2-GAME OVER!

In the words of Tasha Mack, “Game On…” OR so I thought….As most of you might remember, I have a HUGE crush on Mr. Game Plan and I thought that maybe my dreams of some sort of relationship/ultimate friendship would magically come true…LOL!  Boy, oh boy, how I was wrong.  I can’t say that we don’t have a great relationship as friends, but I was imagining crazy thoughts.  Do you guys remember when you would crush on your fav guy?  Every second that you thought about him, you would imagine what the conversation would be like; wondering if he would make the first move to kiss you….crazy, I know!  As I sit here and write these words, I have to ask myself:  Did I create something that was never really there?  Did I allow one special weekend (nothing sexual) to paint a picture of an everlasting future?  WAIT.  What is wrong with me?  How can I actually be pinning over future with a guy that doesn’t even notice me?  Is this one of those stupid moves that you regret later on in life?  How do I bounce back from this one; all of my close friends, family, and even some of his family knows….UGH!  RESUME.

I talked to my godmom and she gave some great advice on this matter:  DON’T TELL HIM AND JUST LET IT GO!  I think that she noticed that my mind constantly consumed him; yet, it didn’t seem like it went the other way around.  Isn’t it funny that the people that love you the MOST can spot things that others WON’T tell you….at times, you aren’t prepared for the TRUTH; why you ask?  Mostly because the truth is not a pretty sight; it is usually the nightmare in the fairy tale.  Now, you have to believe that at some point in this conversation I wanted to shout, “Please don’t be right!  I want to have the chance of being Mrs. Game Plan”.  Even though I knew she was right and wise beyond her years, I still wanted the opportunity to express my true feelings….however; I knew in the bottom of my heart that my godmom was NEVER wrong at giving advice.  Besides my Ma & 2nd Mom, she was the other “mom” that would keep it real, at all cost.  So, I have finally realized that maybe Mr. Game Plan isn’t my Prince Hakeem (Coming to America), Dre (Brown Sugar), Darius (Love Jones), or Quincy (Love & Basketball)….maybe he was just meant to be my childhood friend from Otac, Sasnakra.

Guess there won’t be a Game Plan: Part 3….UNLESS?????? (naw, he probably won’t admit his love for me, passionately kiss me, and court me to become Mrs. Game Plan; I think I am still daydreaming….LOL!  What is a Creole Guillory Soul to do?????)

Thursday, May 12, 2011

My Fair Lane...Part 1

I started off writing down why I hadn’t posted anything since the last days of April; however, in a thought last night, I decided that I wanted to talk about my fair Lane….For those of you who don’t know about dear ol’ Fair Lane, here is some brief history:

  • Founded in 1882 by Bishop Issac Lane
  • It was first known as the “C.M.E. High School”
  • C.M.E. High School was later named Lane Institute in 1884 and Lane College in 1896
  • Dr. McClure, a 1964 alumnus, assumed the position of President on September 1, 1992 (current President)
  • Lane College will be celebrating 130 years this year

Lane College (LC) has been around in my family for some time now; two uncles and one aunt attended before me.  Now, in order for you to understand the intensity of attending Lane, you have to know the back story.  During my senior year of high school, I was dead set on applying to Langston University, Wilberforce University, and Norfolk University.  Each of these institutions were scattered among the US; there really wasn’t a valid reason for applying: I just wanted to be away from home and at a Historically Black College or University (HBCU).  My parents and brother attended and/or graduated from the University of Arkansas at Pine Bluff (UAPB); I had made a vow to myself that I would not follow in my parents footsteps.  I wanted to become my own trailblazer and make a legacy for my children.  So, one of my uncles that graduated from Lane (1964 Alum) told me that I would one day wear a LC or UAPB shirt….I told him that he was wrong; I guess God had other plans for me.

Back in high school, I was in love with speech competitions; I thrived for the internal rush (I have NO clue where it came from).  During the night of the first round of speeches at church, my aunt (1968 Alum) pulled me to the side and said these words “I didn’t turn your Langston application in; instead, I submitted your name to Lane College”.  WAIT.  Did she just say that my application for Langston didn’t get turned in?  It wasn’t because the mail lost it, or they denied my application…it was because she just didn’t turn it in!!!!  Am I suppose to be mad, sad, angry, upset, happy, confused, WHAT?????  Stop, did she just say Lane College?  I never expressed I wanted to go there!  Why did she do this to me?  RESUME.  To make matters worse, it was soon to be my turn to present my speech; this was not the way I intended for things to go.  Nevertheless, I won the entire competition, but you know that I was not too happy about the news I received.  My aunt later explained that she felt that I would be a small fish in a huge pond at Langston; instead, she wanted me to be a big fish in a little pond at Lane (I later understood EXACTLY what she meant).

My first official visit to the campus was for New Student Orientation; I can’t really say that I remember every thing about it, but I did make friends that weekend that I still consider friends.  One thing that I do remember is the day my mother dropped me off at Lane for the Fall term.  I was terrified beyond belief; I didn’t want to step out and become a grown up.  Watching my Ma drive away was the beginning of a future that was about to unfold, and boy was I NOT ready for this ride; a ride of a lifetime….

Friday, April 29, 2011

The VENTS of the Office.....

Most of the time, I am irritated when I leave my office; well, it seems like today might end a little bit differently.  Let’s start with the first thing:  Today is Administrative Professionals Day.  Please ask me what my office got me!!!  *No, I’ll wait, please ask!*  Yes, you guessed it: NOTHING! The one thing that I am trying to figure out is why I am upset; they say that you should never expect for others to do things for you, even when you bust your butt to make things smooth for them….that would be too much like right, don’t you think?  Now, let me make something clear: I don’t go to work to look for a gift of appreciation on the last Wednesday of April; I work because I want to beat cancer.  However, in the process, I work extra hard to maintain things within the office; there are some nights that I have to bring the headache of work home with me (thank God I am not married; he might divorce me because of work).  I did, however, get treated to lunch by the head of the department; thankful for that but still.  Please tell me how much longer should I keep the office afloat, while feel unappreciated. WAIT. I wish you could see my face right now, while looking at the thoughts that are floating in my brain….How could this actually happen to me?  After all that I do; all the birthdays and special events that I remember for the office???  REALLY!!!!  UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! RESUME.

**the beginning of this post was wrote on Wednesday, April 27, 2011**

I think this post has become the venting section; I am so tired of dealing with issues within my office.  The sad part is that most of my colleagues don’t understand the frustration in my voice or words.  I thought that your job was suppose to be something that you could enjoy and learn from; not something that stresses you to the point of no return.  One thing I can say is that I am very thankful to God for a job; however, I desire a different position, in a different office, in a different company….a lot, huh?  Three very wise women once told me that I won’t be able to leave this spot until I pass the test that God has for me; guess what: I think I am going to fail.  Failure is not something that sits well with me; I fear failure, so why am I willing to accept it for this particular situation?  A great friend of mine, someone that I consider a sister, told me that when your life seems to be in shambles, it is usually because God is up to something.  She even said that I should consider myself “special” for going through the spiral storm of LIFE!  This has to be one of the hardest test that I have endured thus far; how am I suppose to actually pass it?  It isn’t one of those test that you can study for, receive a guide to prepare you, or even see a sample test; you just have to be prepared for the journey ahead.  WAIT.  A silent prayer needs to be said at this very moment….feeling like you are the only one to understand your situation SUCKS!  UGH….Baby Jesus, be with me!  RESUME.

This must be the one time that being a Guillory or Creole doesn’t make me overlook everything else….

Monday, April 25, 2011

Easter Sunday, The New "Spot", & the LIST.....

There is one thing that I love most about my life…the time I spend with my family.  Yesterday was Easter Sunday, so I spent the first part of the day with my entire family; great food, convo, and laughs were CLASSIC.  It was great to enjoy each aunt, uncle, or cousin.  The funny part was I had no idea what God had in store later that day….so, after I made the LONG journey from the country to the city, I received a text message from another fav cousin.  The text simply said “Hungry”?  If you know me, there are two things I can’t turn away from: 1. Great convos with my female cousins & 2. Great laughs & dinner with any fabulous diva.  Our normal “spot” is the local Applebees, but this time I felt the need to spice things up (SO HAPPY I DID).  After a deep and meaningful catch up conversation, my fab cousin, “Doc”,  comes up with a clever thought; why not create a list of some of the stupid and idiotic things some men have said….WAIT. Would this be a great idea?  How would people perceive the list?  You know what, I don’t care.  These are comments that we have heard; life lessons of what not to listen to again. RESUME

During a choked up (from laughter) dinner at Red Lobster, “Doc” & I produced the Top 10 Stupid & Idiotic Male Quotes (SN: The title is not the original title; it had to be tweaked just a bit…if you know Doc & I, you can only IMAGINE what the REAL title is…LOL).  Well, here goes nothing; oh yeah, these aren’t in the correct top order….just from random thought.)

  1. “I got a baby in Orlando & one in Florida”….WAIT. Isn’t Orlando in Florida???  WOW. RESUME.
  2. “I’m ‘gon’ sex her, but I love you”…WAIT. Dude, you don’t love me, her, or your damn self…UGH. RESUME.
  3. “I’m not in a relationship” WAIT. Why am I looking at your profile on Facebook and your status says “In A Relationship” while you tell the lie that you aren’t.  Isn’t that your profile picture of your signature pose?  REALLY?  WHERE DO THEY DO THAT IT?  Social Networks….RESUME.
  4. “I have been trying to buy a car since 1995; so in the meantime, can you come pick me up?” WAIT. The current year is 2011…ARE YOU SERIOUS???? RESUME.
  5. “Women, y’all got 1 egg and we got a whole lot of sperm.  This is why y’all need 1 man and we need a lot of women”. WAIT.  Where do some men come up with this?  I am still laughing…RESUME.
  6. “We are separated right now, but we are still living together for the kids.” WAIT. Let me get this straight, you are separated, but still live like the married couple that you are?  Who do I look like to you? Miss me with that one….RESUME.
  7. “To be honest, I have never said anything dumb to a female.”  WAIT.  This statement alone is a lie…LOL!  Thanks Marcus for this one! RESUME.
  8. “I’m married but you can be my main chick outside of my wife.”  WAIT.  Isn’t your wife the MAIN CHICK?  Thanks Martha for this one! RESUME.
  9. “Emotionally, I am not ready for a committed relationship, but can we keep the physical part?” WAIT. No comment….SMDH! RESUME.
  10. “Maybe I would be in the mood for sex if you would cook more.” WAIT. What does that have to do with anything?  What if your meal was given by your performance?  RESUME.

Bonus (2)

  1. “The reason we go to the white women is because black women talk too much.”  WAIT.  With a line like that, we don’t want you anyways.  Once again, SMDH. RESUME.
  2. “You know who took up the slack after my black wife divorced me?  White….That’s why I’m looking for a new woman….in the nursing homes.  WAIT. *blank stares* RESUME.

This list COULD NOT be made up even if Doc & I tried; the reality of this list is that some men say stupid and idiotic things….NOT ALL MEN, just SOME!  The more I read this list, it made me wonder why we as women even deal with this nonsense.  I love men and their being (Mr. Game Plan stays on my mind), yet some make me SMDH.  I never told Doc this, but I wonder what other women have experienced and if they could name a few to create a bigger list…..*mind is NOW in thinking mode*

Just because I am a Guillory doesn’t mean that I don’t still experience life…..

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

The ART of MOURNing....

Memory is a way of holding onto the things you love, the things you are, the things you never want to lose.  ~ The Wonder Years.  I believe that whoever stated that mourning isn’t an art lied to themselves; this past weekend, I witnessed mourning at its best.  As mentioned last week, my grandfather passed.  During my 2 hour journey to be with my family on Friday, I began to replay my fondest memories with my stepmother’s family.  My Texarkana family never lets me down; from stories, laughter, to continued laughter, I enjoyed every visit possible.  Each family member was unique and special to me; some were quiet mannered, while others were vocal in all aspects.  It’s funny how all of that flew out the window when I arrived at Lou and PaPa’s house.  I wasn’t sure how the weekend would play out; I wasn’t even sure how to comfort any of the individuals in the house.  To my surprise, the walk to the back door felt just like the old days….warm & inviting.  WAIT. I remember my stepmother saying to another relative that anyone who wasn’t family or not a regular visitor would attempt to enter through the front door; this weekend was the 1st time that I really EVER used the front door….all the action happened coming through the back door. RESUME

Somehow, family must have been reading my mind:  Whenever you have deep thoughts, a trip to get a mani/pedi is ALWAYS the trick!  During the drive,  I heard a song that I must have been dodging since the album arrived on the scene…the new Kirk Franklin.  Of course, the single “I Smile” came on….

I smile, even though I'm hurt see I smile,
I know God is working so I smile,
Even though I've been here for a while
I smile, smile..
it's so hard to look up when you look down.
I sure would hate to see you give up now
You look so much better when you smile, so smile.”

REALLY???  Could this song not come at a more perfect time; even during the moments of mourning, God still wanted my family to SMILE….the question was: would we realize this?    The services for PaPa were beautiful; mournful, yet beautiful.  Beautiful moments happen for beautiful people.  My art of mourning came from an abundance of tears, smiles, and happy memories; others expressed their goodbyes differently.  Either way, we all said our “Goodbyes” to PaPa the best we knew how; needless to say once the day was over, I begin to admire and appreciate the art of mourning.  Mourning is the emotional state of letting go of a situation; in this case, it was my family’s verbal way of holding on to the memories of a great man.

Whoever said that a Creole Soul couldn’t cry…well, they lied….

Thursday, April 14, 2011

The Strength of Encouragement

Encouragement can pop up in life in all various forms; it can be in a letter, arrive through an article, be spoken by a good friend, or presented by the voice of God.  Throughout the last couple of weeks, I have pondered the definition “to be encouraged”….what does it really mean to be in that state of mind?  Tests, trials, and tribulations seem to have become a unique routine within my life; most I can handle, but at times the rest seems too much to consume.  Growing up, I would always hear the elders say “God never gives you more than you can handle; He is with you always”.  Now, I can admit, I wasn’t the type, as a child, to heed these words.  It wasn’t until the emotions of life started to hit me that I began to be reminded of wisdom. 

Life doesn’t seem to have much meaning if you don’t realize that God loves you; encouragement should come from within too.  Due to how I feel about being encouraged, I have decided to get my third tattoo.  I haven’t decided if the tattoo will say “Be EnCOURAGEd” or “Stay EnCOURAGEed”….either one still sends a daily and personal message to me.  Sometimes you need those constant reminders of the most important things in life; however you received the encouragement is alright with me…..JUST AS LONG AS YOU RECEIVE IT!!!!!!!

This Creole Soul has to go home to do some soul searching and clean up….

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Until DEATH do US part...

Marriage is a union that no one should ever take lightly; to have a soulmate has to be the most uplifting experience of a lifetime.  My grandparents would have been married for over 50 plus years; however, God saw fit to call a great man home. “PaPa” finished his earthly duties last Friday, fighting all the way until the end.  The emotional state of a human being during moments as such can take a lot out of a person.  When I received the news, my heart skipped a beat; I couldn’t believe that PaPa was actually gone.  My next thought was “Am I allowed to be sad over this lost?” or “Even though I am only his step granddaughter, was I given the “OK” to shed tears?” 

As strange as that may sound, those were my actual feelings; I had only known him for the last 15 years of my life.  I begin to think about the mental states of my stepmom, dad, uncles, aunts, cousins, and mostly my grandmother, Lou.  These were the individuals that spent their entire lives with this great man; they shared family reunions, holidays, sporting events, deep conversations, etc.  I have to tell you, if you ever met this couple, you would instantly fall in love.  Lou & PaPa were the type of couple that all married couple should have aspired to be; they truly loved each other….WAIT. Will this type of love ever come to be?  What does it feel like to lose a love like such? RESUME.  I can only imagine the emotional disbelief that my grandmother is feeling right now; how do you honestly say “goodbye” to someone that has shared a bed with you for over 50 years; someone who helped you raise children & grandchildren; someone who knows you almost better than God; someone that has wiped away tears, while placing smiles on your face; someone who held your hand through all situations, no matter the circumstance; someone who stand before God & others to profess their love for you.  I can imagine that Lou & PaPa took these particular words to their true form:

“to have and to hold from this day forward,
for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer,
in sickness or in health, to love and to cherish, 'til death do us part,
according to God's holy ordinance”

My heart goes out to Lou; I pray that God grants her strength through these moments, always remembering the love of her soulmate.  I think about my stepmom, dad, uncles & aunts; I pray that they cherish the memories of their dad.  I extend my thoughts to my cousins; I pray that they accept & apply the lessons that were given.  As for me, I pray that God gives me the wisdom to be there for my family on Saturday.  There is nothing like a funeral when it hits close to home…..

Rest in Peace PaPa!  This Creole Soul will surely miss your smile, laughter, welcoming arms, and mostly your warm heart!!!!

Friday, April 8, 2011

A Dime Piece or The "27 Piece"...

Walking down the hall toward my office, a popular Black theme song pops up in my head; it would possibly stem from the emotional rollercoaster conversation that I had last night.

“Now, the world don't move to the beat of just one drum,
What might be right for you, may not be right for some.”

These words got me to thinking about being a “type”; I was told last night that basically I haven’t been so successful in securing a man is because I am not a “dime piece”.  WAIT.  What is an actual dime piece?  What happened to the phrase “beauty is in the eye of the beholder” or “outer beauty may fade fast, but inner beauty last forever”…does this mean that I’m not cute????  RESUME.  These are some of the internal thoughts that ran through my mind all night; I couldn’t even sleep, so to speak.  Could I really be facing the crossroads of being cute or ugly?  First off, the word “ugly” happens to be ugly to me; strangely enough, I never try to call another person ugly.  Beauty will NEVER be ugly; however, it’s the action of that person that could be.

So, I decided to research what a dime piece means to most; I was surprised at my findings.  A slang dictionary refers to a “dime piece” (noun) as an attractive female; "10". From a dime being worth 10 cents.   It even mentioned that famous actress, Halle Berry, was considered a “dime piece”….WAIT. Didn’t Halle Berry go through 2 divorces and an ugly custody battle with her former boyfriend/baby’s father.  If this “dime piece” has suffered through those relationship barriers, doesn’t that mean something?  Doesn’t it mean that even though the world considers Ms. Berry a “dime piece”, there are 3 men who obviously think otherwise??  RESUME.  Okay, now, I believe that Halle is a gorgeous woman and I am NOT trying to compete with her or any other woman, for that matter.  I just want to continue to be me, the “27 piece”….now, for most Black women, this would be referred to as a “selection of 27 pieces of human hair, used to construct short Quick Weaves”.  For me, being a “27 piece” means a lot more; it means that there are at least 27 factors that structure me to be an amazing person.  The last time I checked, 27 > 10…

Because of my office bestie and my office counselor, I decided to compile a list of 27 things I love about myself….

  1. I am like no other.
  2. I love God, my family, and friends.
  3. I am able to admit my fears in life.
  4. I always strive to be the best I can be.
  5. I love to work with others (at times…LOL).
  6. My hair is back to its natural state of being curly.
  7. I’m enjoying loving the skin I’m in.
  8. Fake isn’t my middle name nor does it play a role in my character.
  9. I can become moody when I am trying to make something “perfect”.
  10. Growth has become a strong point for me.
  11. I try not to make excuse for anything that I do.
  12. Making people smile makes me smile.
  13. Saying “No” is hard for me at times; well, it depends on what the situation is J
  14. Cooking isn’t my strong point; however, I love to learn.
  15. My top charity that I hold dear to my heart is the UNCF.
  16. I am thankful that I graduated from Lane College.
  17. There is nothing better for me than my sisters of Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Inc.
  18. I have a heavy passion for the youth; they are a true future.
  19. I try to “reflect on the past, focus on the present, & prepare for the future”.
  20. FAM is the reunion that I never really want to miss.
  21. When I go back home to Louisiana, I feel like those are moments I can relax.
  22. My eyes are light brown, but you can only tell in the sun or direct light.
  23. I wouldn’t trade my God, family, or friends.
  24. I aspire to become the best litigator in my generation.
  25. Toothpaste makes me nauseous every morning.
  26. I miss all of my family and friends that have gone on before me.
  27. If I had not been told that I wasn’t a “dime piece”, I would have not figured out that being the “27 piece” was SO much better!

This list can’t and won’t compare to my internal emotions, ones that can’t and won’t be really express during this time.  One thing to remember in life, you can’t make someone move to the beat of your drum….each stroke, beat, and note is different.

This Guillory is listening to “in a sentimental mood” by Duke Ellington & John Coltrane…so soothing for a moment as such.

Thursday, April 7, 2011

The Journey of the PERSONAL STATEMENT...(Part 1)

Since writing my blog, I have grown to capture life like an actual storybook; I examine each part of life and find something meaningful to talk about.  For example, I have started to think about my law school personal statement.  This 2-3 page document could be the gateway to a lifetime of fulfillment.  There are so many things that I could express in this statement; I JUST DON’T KNOW WHERE TO BEGIN…..

me:  what should I focus on when producing my personal statement?

him:  discuss who you are, where you came from, & where you want to end up

me:  I am so nervous; these words could make or break my chances

him:  you have to uplift yourself to be reveal what we see

me:  make myself jump off the page, basically….

One thing that I can admit is my fear of failure….I have never wanted God, my family, or friends to be ashamed for the work that I have done in life.  I can’t really say that their opinions matter, but it somehow matters (especially God).  I can’t believe that my life has come to the point where I am no longer able to teeter totter about decisions; I have to be firm on the choices ahead of me.  WAIT. Am I really writing this personal statement?  Will I finally be called “Esquire”?  If only my last name would change….LOL; just kidding (for now)!  RESUME.     Okay, so I guess it’s time to continue on this journey called “writing”…Southern University, Howard University, or Vanderbilt University, here I come….

A Guillory pursuing law….is society really ready??????  Only time will tell…..

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Mr. Game Plan

It amazes me how my dreams haunt me for days, to say the least; Mr. Game Plan has entered them once again.  Here is some brief background on the friendship of Mr. Game Plan & I:

  • We have known each other well over 10 years
  • We both attended colleges in the 36th biggest state in the USA
  • We each love the letters P&G
  • We come from very large families
  • We both have a love for classic movies
  • We enjoy giving back to others

Look, this list could probably continue; actually, I can’t even believe that I am saying this much.  During a period in my life when love wasn’t expressed, Mr. Game Plan came into my thought process like an instant blink.  His charismatic swag catches me off guard at times; he reminds me of lyrics from Jazmine Sullivan’s cd

“Excuse me if I'm sounding crazy
But if you've been ohh
(what I've been hopin' and waiting for)
I've searched all around but there's nobody else in the world
Love me like you do. “

To say that he is a guy that I would love to date and pursue other things with = UNSTATEMENT!  WAIT. Why am I nervous writing this piece?  What is it about him that makes me gitty, nervous, excited, sad, and confused all at one time?  Is this a good or bad sign? RESUME.     Remember back in the day when you crushed over a guy so hard; it seemed like the world wouldn’t turn for anything.  He was the first thing you thought about in the morning and the last thing you thought of at night; you would play MASH, while checking to see what your percentage of TRUE LOVE would be.  All of your close girlfriends would make up baby names for you and the crush; and don’t let your fav song come on the radio…can we say REQUEST LINE!!!!!!  Crushes, at one point, seemed to go out of style for me; I assumed that I was too old to be crushing after a guy.  However, it’s something about Mr. Game Plan that makes me rethink the term “crush”.  Is having a crush that far fetched?  While having a crush, should you tell them how you feel?  Or do you hold back the desire to be more?  Are you suppose to remain in the background while another claims the prize?  Or take that risk and try to play the game, gambling all that you have? 

I guess this Creole girl should come up with a ‘game plan” to get Mr. Game Plan……

to be continued….