There is one thing that I love most about my life…the time I spend with my family. Yesterday was Easter Sunday, so I spent the first part of the day with my entire family; great food, convo, and laughs were CLASSIC. It was great to enjoy each aunt, uncle, or cousin. The funny part was I had no idea what God had in store later that day….so, after I made the LONG journey from the country to the city, I received a text message from another fav cousin. The text simply said “Hungry”? If you know me, there are two things I can’t turn away from: 1. Great convos with my female cousins & 2. Great laughs & dinner with any fabulous diva. Our normal “spot” is the local Applebees, but this time I felt the need to spice things up (SO HAPPY I DID). After a deep and meaningful catch up conversation, my fab cousin, “Doc”, comes up with a clever thought; why not create a list of some of the stupid and idiotic things some men have said….WAIT. Would this be a great idea? How would people perceive the list? You know what, I don’t care. These are comments that we have heard; life lessons of what not to listen to again. RESUME.
During a choked up (from laughter) dinner at Red Lobster, “Doc” & I produced the Top 10 Stupid & Idiotic Male Quotes (SN: The title is not the original title; it had to be tweaked just a bit…if you know Doc & I, you can only IMAGINE what the REAL title is…LOL). Well, here goes nothing; oh yeah, these aren’t in the correct top order….just from random thought.)
- “I got a baby in Orlando & one in Florida”….WAIT. Isn’t Orlando in Florida??? WOW. RESUME.
- “I’m ‘gon’ sex her, but I love you”…WAIT. Dude, you don’t love me, her, or your damn self…UGH. RESUME.
- “I’m not in a relationship” WAIT. Why am I looking at your profile on Facebook and your status says “In A Relationship” while you tell the lie that you aren’t. Isn’t that your profile picture of your signature pose? REALLY? WHERE DO THEY DO THAT IT? Social Networks….RESUME.
- “I have been trying to buy a car since 1995; so in the meantime, can you come pick me up?” WAIT. The current year is 2011…ARE YOU SERIOUS???? RESUME.
- “Women, y’all got 1 egg and we got a whole lot of sperm. This is why y’all need 1 man and we need a lot of women”. WAIT. Where do some men come up with this? I am still laughing…RESUME.
- “We are separated right now, but we are still living together for the kids.” WAIT. Let me get this straight, you are separated, but still live like the married couple that you are? Who do I look like to you? Miss me with that one….RESUME.
- “To be honest, I have never said anything dumb to a female.” WAIT. This statement alone is a lie…LOL! Thanks Marcus for this one! RESUME.
- “I’m married but you can be my main chick outside of my wife.” WAIT. Isn’t your wife the MAIN CHICK? Thanks Martha for this one! RESUME.
- “Emotionally, I am not ready for a committed relationship, but can we keep the physical part?” WAIT. No comment….SMDH! RESUME.
- “Maybe I would be in the mood for sex if you would cook more.” WAIT. What does that have to do with anything? What if your meal was given by your performance? RESUME.
- “The reason we go to the white women is because black women talk too much.” WAIT. With a line like that, we don’t want you anyways. Once again, SMDH. RESUME.
- “You know who took up the slack after my black wife divorced me? White….That’s why I’m looking for a new woman….in the nursing homes. WAIT. *blank stares* RESUME.
This list COULD NOT be made up even if Doc & I tried; the reality of this list is that some men say stupid and idiotic things….NOT ALL MEN, just SOME! The more I read this list, it made me wonder why we as women even deal with this nonsense. I love men and their being (Mr. Game Plan stays on my mind), yet some make me SMDH. I never told Doc this, but I wonder what other women have experienced and if they could name a few to create a bigger list…..*mind is NOW in thinking mode*
Just because I am a Guillory doesn’t mean that I don’t still experience life…..