Thursday, September 8, 2011

Wedding Bell BLUES

One of my favorite songs on the radio, currently, happens to be “4evermore” by Anthony David; I don’t know if it’s the lyrics, melody, or what, but anytime I hear this song I have to blast it (it got so bad, I went and bought the whole album just to have it on repeat in the car….talk about crazy).  Anyhow, a couple that I have known for quite some years decided to tie the knot, so I dedicated the entire day to them with this one song; when I say I played the song over 45 times,  I thought I would get tired of it.  If anyone hadn’t heard it, I would suggest that they do; here is a piece of a lyric:
Forever’s a mighty long time
But I really wanna spend it with you
I shine, when you shine
And there’s really no substitute
Now, the lyrics along speak volumes; I mean, forever is REALLY a mighty long time to spend with the same person.  Up until the point of this wedding, I was quite sure that I saw marriage in my future; now, I’m not so sure.  The rates of divorces are sky rocketing and I don’t know if that’s something that I could handle. WAIT. Am I really saying that I don’t want to be married?  Where is this coming from?  I have dreamed of walking down the aisle in a white or chocolate gown…and now, I want to give all that up???  What is wrong with me? RESUME.  As I sat in the church, watching a lovely couple who had been through their share of ups and downs, I began to envision the joy of getting married one day…yet the visions suddenly turned to how my life would be impacted by this moment of bliss.  Was I cut out to be a wife; yeah, I believe so.   I just want to make sure that I don’t get caught up in the “hype” of a wedding instead of focusing on the relationship of my marriage!  The divorce rates seem to grow rapidly each year and I surely don’t want to become a statistic; honestly, how many people think about a divorce on the event of their wedding (if any, please reconsider marriage….just my thoughts).  All in all, the wedding made me take some time to evaluate what I really want out of a relationship…so, I started a list.  No, this isn’t your average list of things I want from a man…it was a list of things I required from myself, in order to pursue a healthy relationship in the future
1.       Learn to LISTEN effectively….this is not to say that I don’t already, but it never hurts to put it on the list.
2.       Try NOT to be quick to take offense…I tend to have a habit of jumping to my own defense when it might not be needed.
3.       Never get LOST in my man…I can’t say that I have done this, but I have seen women in this situation and I surely don’t want it to be me.
4.       Continue to LOVE all things about myself….Once again, I can’t lose sight of who I am and what I desire to become.
5.       Accept the SHARING rule…I haven’t really lived with anyone since my LC days, so to share a limited space with another person might take some getting use to.
6.       Always keep GOD first in the relationship…This should have been first!  Without God leading the relationship, we as a couple, are doomed from the start.  If my mate isn’t on the same page as me with this topic, as a pilot says, “HOUSTON, WE HAVE A PROBLEM!!!!!”
Okay, so for now, that’s the list that I comprised so far; I’m pretty sure  the list will grow as I get older or come closer to a serious relationship.  Whenever the time comes for me to walk down someone’s aisle, I pray that I have worked through my list and feel comfortable making this commitment.  He is out there somewhere, and until we meet, I will continue to work on my list….while enjoying the ups and downs called LIFE!

a guillory wedding with a dash of creole favor….i can’t wait for the day!

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