Tuesday, January 24, 2012

{Guest Post} Guy Code by James Jones

A female friend of mine asked in a text: “…don’t you all have the SAME damn guy code handbook?”…I’m guessing this was in response to some guy saying something stupid to her…
My first reaction was to laugh out loud… and I don’t mean “lol”… I mean literally LAUGH OUT LOUD!  But after a couple seconds of thought, I began to worry… Do women really think that there is some secret code or handbook and all guys read from the same one???
Code? Maybe;   Handbook? Maybe;   All guys reading from the same one?  I can see how it seems that way at times, but it’s absolutely untrue.  Ha, maybe we should though.  The old notion that all men are dogs, or all men are only out for one thing is so untrue.  To show this, let’s go through some types of men.  I’m not stating facts here… only opinions, from the viewpoint of a man… me.

1. The Momma’s Boy (Remixed) The Momma’s boy is usually thought of as the guy that all women want.  Yes indeed, he loves his mother, and because of that he knows how to treat a lady…right?  But have you ever thought of a “Momma’s Boy Remixed”???  The remixed version loves his mother and ONLY his mother.  He puts his mother on a pedestal above all other women and subconsciously vows to NEVER treat another woman the same way.  Actually, just to prove that his mother is the greatest, he makes an effort to let all women he comes in contact with know that they are only sub-standard to his beloved mother.   The Momma’s Boy (Remixed)
2. The Momma’s Boy (Traditional):  The guy you do want.  The guy who feels that his mother is an example for all woman, and that all women should be treated as such.  This man will walk through the fire and leave pure destruction in his wake in order to honor and protect his mother, AND…he will do the same for the significant woman in his life.  This is the “Momma’s Boy” you all know and/or have heard about…I urge you to be careful to not get tied up with the “Remixed” version.
3. The Man’s Man:  Everybody loves this guy… Think of Ray Lewis’ Old Spice commercial... “Women want me, men wanna be me, and bears wanna learn to talk like me…”  That pretty much sums up the man’s man.  Even men love to be around this guy, because he can’t seem to lose with the women, he knows the best drinks at the bar, he seems to know all the bouncer’s at the most popular clubs, he always seems to have endless money in his pocket, and he is a genius at any game played with cards (and women)… in general this guy has everything that every other guy is reaching for, and men strive to learn from and generally be like this guy.  Women cannot resist the man’s man until they find out that he doesn’t like to shower every day, his underwear sometimes have stains in them, and he will do anything in order for her to shut the f*ck up so that he can enjoy his beer and watch the d*mn game.  The Man’s Man.
4.  The Friend:  Guys hate this dude, but women love him.  Indeed, he doesn’t care about watching the game… He cares more about her feelings and sharing his own with her.  Sounds good right?  Maybe, until she come’s home from a long day at work, new promotion, something new and kinky Secret from Victoria, a body full of heat and desire, and all this friendly guy wants to do is talk.  Yes, indeed, The Friend has sensitive feelings too and you need to sit your ass down and listen to him.  Hmmm… The Friend
5. The Gamer:  He likes Madden, NBA 2K*, big screen tv’s, surround sound, an excellent internet connection, and a lil sex every now and then would hurt… The Gamer

Of course there are endless types, and we could go on for weeks about them… but the point of this is just to show that there is no “Guy Code Handbook”… In general guys don’t even like each other, and our pride would make us feel like we were lowering ourselves if we went by some code that ALL OTHER GUYS “ go by…well maybe the “Man’s Man” has a code that we all wouldn’t mind learning something from…except he can keep the dirty drawers and the non-shower days…hahaha.  I would never tell a woman to settle for anything, but I would say this:  Realize that there is no perfect person out there.  I’m a man and I can say we all say and do dumb ~ish sometimes.  You just have to decide what things you are willing to put up with and what things you are not willing to put up with.  If you are looking for perfection, I’ll just say “Good Luck and Godspeed”.

James Jones…  Don’t Judge Me… I’m Just On Some Other ~Ish… Indeed

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