Tuesday, February 28, 2012

SMH @ Dating....

Why didn’t anyone tell me that DATING sucks?  Shouldn’t there be a handbook that gives you play by play instructions of what to do in certain situations?  Where is my fairy godmother that grants me the opportunity to dance with my prince charming, and we dance our lives away….instead, I am stuck with guys who have whack approaches, lame excuses, and nothing going for themselves. WAIT. Now, let’s not get this confused with my friendship with Roll Tide; he and I are still in the developing stage, with a few dates here and there.  Trust me, that’s another chapter within itself…*sighs and crawls under my office desk* RESUME.   

I haven't had the best of chances with dating lately; take for instance this guy I was talking to, WWF. He seemed like he had a nice complete package….  CHRISTIAN (CHECK), JOB(check), HOUSE/APARTMENT (check), EDUCATION/TRAINING (check), NO KIDS (check; even though I would date a guy with 1 or 2), CAR (check, check, & check…hey, I dated a guy with no car and TRUST ME, it wasn’t a good sight), 36 (check…why do I like them older; *blank stare*).  Now, this list from the outside looking in sounds good, right….WRONG!  He wasn’t the guy for me for two reasons:
1.       He was too possessive/controlling...I received almost 20 text messages from him while at work (these are the messages that I would get when I didn’t return his text message).  For example, a typical text convo would go like this:
Him: Hey, WYD...
Me: Nothing, working...
Him: What are you working on….
Him: HELLO (2 minutes later)....
Him: Are you upset with me (5 minutes later)
Him: Why are you ignoring me?  Are you talking to another guy? (6 minutes later)...
Me: What????
Him: I was just playing with you…
Now, we all know that he wasn’t playing and anything further would have been a disaster for anything serious between us.

2.       He never wanted to date me; and by that I mean, he always wanted me to come to his place. STOP RIGHT THERE!!!!  I will not be going to your place and you surely won’t be coming to mine.  For some reason, some modern day men think that house dates are dates…NOPE!  Demetria Lucas, my personal life coach/fav author, always preaches that house dates aren’t dates; it’s simply staying home and watching movies.  Don’t get me wrong, if you guys have been dating for a while and have been on PLENTY of dates outside of the house….then, do a dinner and movie night at home.  With WWF, I didn’t know him and he didn’t know me…WHY IN THE WORLD WOULD I WANT TO COME TO YOUR PLACE; YOU MIGHT KILL ME!!!! UGH.  WWF couldn’t seem to understand that one, so I had to distance myself from him!
Here’s the thing…I know that dating won’t always be easy….so here are few things to remember when dating:
1.       Learn to date a variety of men;  think about going outside of the norm for you.  It will surely help you narrow your ultimate list down.
2.       Try online dating; many people turn their noses up at online dating, but it isn’t that bad.  Just like any other form of dating, you will have to weed out the good, bad, and ugly. 
3.       Remain true to yourself; if you don’t feel like you are ready to get back out there, take some time to regain the confidence, but try not to take TOO long( the right one could be right in front of your face and you miss out).
4.       Laugh at the small stuff; you won’t be compatible with EVERY guy you met, so laugh off the things that just don’t make sense (trust me, there will be moments like that…I KNOW! Lol….)
5.       Dating will be fully what you make it to be; my experiences will be totally different from those of my sisters, besties, and strangers.

I’ll tell you a little secret….I am actually wanting Roll Tide to ask me to go exclusive(even though I don’t know if that will happen)…WAIT. Do people still say “go steady”, “court me”, “become exclusive”…did I just sound older than I really am???  What is really going on with me???? RESUME. I happen to really like my friend and my dating experiences are making me want to build my wall right back up and focus on other things…One thing I do know is that I won’t pressure/push someone to realize that I’m a good catch….so, in the meantime and between time, I will just continue to work on myself, love life, and keep my CRAZY dating pool open(for now….).